Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Day 2

I've been keeping quiet on the blogger-sphere mainly because I've been going through a lot of personal changes lately and the main change was a big secret for a long time. (No, it's not pregnancy so don't even start with me!) I got a new job and it's been a stressful but exciting change. I can't say where I'm working because my blog, unlike my Facebook, is public and I don't feel like getting tagged in a corporate Google search.

This change has been a long time coming. I feel like I hit a wall where I was working that I could not go through, climb over, or leap over and it wasn't from lack of trying on my part! I could go on and on and tell you all the horrible things that I went through there and the stupid shit that people told me but it wouldn't make sense at this point. All I can say is that I was being majorly held back. But at the same time, I struggled in making my decision because I loved what I did and I was really comfortable there.

So a couple of weeks ago, after I accepted my job offer, I walked into my manager's office and broke the news to him. Really fast. My hands were shaking, I felt like crying, and my voice almost failed me. But surprisingly, he was really happy for me and told me I needed to make the best decision for me, etc. Relieved? Yes! Was that the end of it? No... I wish! I'm not going to go into the details but it involved a lack luster counter offer. I finished my final two weeks there and it was not fun. I watched everything I've done unravel and it was the worst experience ever. And all I could do was watch.

There were positive moments to my final two weeks so I can't forget those. I got called a "shining star employee" and someone that is "rarely attained" by the Regional Manager. I got a ton of phone calls and emails from people within the company who were upset to see me go. One of our vendors told me that I am a "super brain" and he wants to keep me on his contact list for the future. Coworkers even came out of the woodwork and told me that they felt I was treated unfairly during my employment. I am going to forget all the bad and remember all the good, that is my goal!

I'm currently on Day 2 of my new job training and I am sitting in a hotel room, 200+ miles away from home (but close to my family). I am using my resistance band exercises in my hotel room, I'm using the hotel gym equipment, and I'm bound and determined to eat healthy. I've got a kitchenette in my room, so I think that will be easier than I'm imagining. I'm mentally exhausted and sore from slouching over people's shoulders all day. For those of you who know me in a work sense, you know that I'm pretty "get up and go" and I feel so unhelpful right now. I just want to absorb everything and get to work! I want to help fix problems and get solutions underway fast. I know, I know... I need to go with the flow and take my time. Yeah, yeah. :)

But this is how I really feel...