I'm sitting here enjoying a seemingly rare moment of complete calm. The baby is content, my husband is still asleep, the windows are open, birds are flying through my yard, and the dog is staring at me wondering why his life has changed so dramatically. Well dog, I feel the same way!
I'm a month into mommyhood and part of me can't believe how quickly it has gone and the other part of me wishes this stage it would move a little bit faster. Madelyn really is doing great, she's a much happier baby now that we've realized she wasn't getting enough food. And I'm a much happier Mama now that I'm sleeping better! I have had some anxiety and depression issues which was a HUGE shock to me but I'm seeing a counselor once a week which has helped. Luckily, I don't need medication at this point and talking/crying has really helped me also. I have to do homework between appointments that involves me writing down pleasant moments and unpleasant moments and how they make me FEEL. It's weird because I'm the same person but I feel so different.
I spent 38 weeks and 6 days being hazed and I'm finally a full fledged, albeit junior member, of the Mom Club. I spent most of that time hearing the phrase, "Just you wait!". Now that I'm a (junior) member of the Mom Club, that phrase takes on a completely different meaning. All the Moms around you know what the phrase means but until you are a Mom, you have no idea what the implications of "Just you wait!" really are and let me tell you, reality hurts... a lot.
My vent... just elaborate! Really and truly! You see a new, almost Mom on the street? Just grab her by the shoulders and tell her that it ain't pretty! Don't use the phrase, "just you wait!" because it means nothing... seriously. Pop the happy, blissful bubble and just tell the woman the truth. It's not rainbows and sunshine all the time. I mean, I wasn't ignorant but I wasn't fully prepared either. I wish someone had just burst my bubble and most importantly, I wish someone had forced me to really LISTEN.
Pregnant Mom: I'm exhausted. I just can't sleep, I'm so uncomfortable in bed, and I just can't wait to not be pregnant anymore!
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Listen girly, you will be tired the moment that baby hits open air. You don't even understand the level of exhaustion that you will encounter. Even if your child is the perfect angel that doesn't scream cry at 120 decibels, you will still be waking up every 2-3 hours in the middle of the night for marathon feeding sessions. You will still try to be wonder woman the first week or so and not take everyone's advice to sleep when the baby sleeps. And you think you are uncomfortable now? Trying sleeping on your stomach with a c-section scar and engorged boobs, that's a whole new level of fun. (Seriously, sleep when the baby sleeps. Seriously. Seriously.)
Pregnant Mom: I can't wait to meet this baby and stop getting kicked and and I just can't wait to not be pregnant anymore! (insert other "joys" of being pregnant here)
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Um, you will still get kicked. Not to mention you will get scratched, hit, screamed at, and bitten by a milk monster.
Pregnant Mom: Oh, we bought a crib and that is what the baby will sleep in from day one.
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Using the crib you say? Ok, that's a wonderful dream. See comments in regards to exhaustion. That baby will end up falling asleep wherever s/he is most comfortable and sometimes that will be in your arms while you lay in bed. You will be so exhausted that you will fall asleep too! (We bought the crib with the intentions of using it right away but we were gifted a family heirloom bassinet and were told to use it. It has been a life saver but the baby still falls asleep in bed with us. And I kind of like it.)
Pregnant Mom: I'll be happy to get my body back after I have the baby.
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Ha! You'll get a body back, it just won't be the one you are expecting! And yes, it will now be ALL YOURS. (I lost 25 of the 35 pounds within 3 days of Madelyn being born but between breastfeeding, attempting to sleep, and attempting to stay awake, I have had no time to do much of anything. Intentions aside, shit just got real and I feel screwed.)
Pregnant Mom: These clothes are so cute, the baby will be so cute when s/he wears them!
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Good luck getting that onesie over the baby's head at three in the morning after s/he shit their way out of the first onesie. I know I bought you that onesie but that doesn't mean I'm not secretly laughing at the torture I've just inflicted on you. You're welcome. (I am overwhelmed by the amount of clothes we've received and prefer to keep the baby naked in just her diaper though buttons and zippers are my friends. And I doubt anyone buys your baby clothes with evil intentions though now I feel bad about all the "horrible" outfits I've purchased for the children of friends over the years. I'm so incredibly sorry.)
Pregnant Mom: My husband will be such a great Dad.
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Yes, your husband will probably be a great Dad. But he'll also be great at handing off the baby when things get rough. Just make sure you return the favor.
Pregnant Mom: Oh I definitely need __(insert random baby item here)__.
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: You won't need it and you will find it again in a year, buried at the back of the closet.
Pregnant Mom: Oh I definitely don't need __(insert random baby item here)__.
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Oh, you really should get that. It will save your life.
Pregnant Mom:I won't be that Mom that has problems with __(insert baby issue here)__.
Well Meaning, Well Seasoned Mom: Just you wait!
What WMWSM meant to say: Oh, yes you will. Murphy's Law. You said it, it will now happen.
"The pain is only temporary but the pride is permanent." From January 2012 to NOW... The LIVE version of how I am changing my life.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Day 19: Sweet Freedom
Miss Madelyn was born on 6/18 via planned but unscheduled C-Section at 10:01am. Basically, my water broke 8 days prior to my scheduled c-section and when I got to the hospital they thought I was joking. Uh no, the water that I leaked from the parking lot to the second floor reception desk is not a gag gift they sell at Spencers, ok? Three hours after we arrived, I was in recovery and by lunch, she had already met her Grandma. We were home on 6/20 with a healthy, loud baby who we love despite her feisty stubborness. Hank the wonder dog loves her too!
As of my first followup appointment, I am cleared for light cardio exercise. My shopping trips to Walmart, Target, and Babies R Us are definitely considered light cardio! BUT, I finally got out with my running shoes on and the dog in tow for Madelyn's first neighborhood walk. Definitely a feel good, successful moment! Feels wonderful to be "free".
(Despite her age, Madelyn has a lot of control over her head. She chose the moment I snapped the camera to put her head at a strange angle to look around. Don't go nominating me for mother of the year just yet, I know how the head support works! :))
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